Craving change

I've recently become keenly aware of how much I enjoy change. Sometimes it takes me a while to appreciate change, but eventually I do. Traveling is one instance of this--I noted in both Kenya and Europe that it took me a long time to start to feel comfortable, even comfortable enough to enjoy myself. I'm starting to get that familiar itch again, but hoping that I've developed some coping mechanisms to keep myself happy for a few years while I finish my PhD work. The upcoming field season will definitely help, plus the seasons just changed from fall to winter (I felt like a little kid prancing in the fresh powder today!).

I think part of my need for change is attributable to the fact that my family didn't stay put for too long at a time growing up. We weren't like gypsies, not even close; I never even moved school districts (my older siblings did once). Rather, there were little changes that built in me a need for new and different surroundings. My earliest memories are from a house that my parents and two older siblings lived in when I was very young--before kindergarten. I remember two things: my Dad (or someone in the family!) getting a trunk full of junk food for one Christmas, and maneuvering under bushes to get to the neighbor's yard. We then spent four or five years in the basement of the new house my parents were building by hand, then another four or five in said house after it was finished. Once my Mom discovered it was too expensive to keep the house heated (we only used a wood-burning stove, but somehow it was too much), we moved into a trailer for another four years while building the next house. That is the house my family lives in now, but I only spent a few years there before heading to college. Then in college I moved every year and to a new place in the summer time for my internships.

Even when I'm in a place, I am constantly re-arranging things. Just tonight I re-arranged my bedroom for the fifth or sixth time since moving here. I've re-arranged my office space more times than I can count. I remember re-organizing my room when I was little, changing how my various possessions were displayed and showing it off proudly to my Mom. Now that I'm nearing adulthood (ahem...), I have a lot more freedom in choosing and creating change for myself. The choices in the world today are nearly endless, which at times can be paralyzing and does not allow enough time for focusing inward.

One of my goals recently has been to figure out what it is I really love to do. Not just what I enjoy doing or what I'm good at. I think a lot of people go through life afraid of change and just pick the path that appears easiest, without trying to understand themselves, and end up secretly miserable. I do not want to be one of those people. I already know that I enjoy and embrace change, so I'm not afraid to go down this path of discovery. I'm also glad that I'm in a place that allows me to do this. Grad school is a job, but it's not the kind of mind-numbing, soul-sucking job that makes people want to drink a bottle of wine every day after work. It's intellectually stimulating and often rewarding, although sometimes the rewards are spread thin. I've also got really great mentors to talk with, who know me and know the various options available. I think I'm on the right track. If I start to get cabin fever I'll just go re-arrange my office again.

Reflections

 Europe is getting further and further away. I'm getting back into my research, trying to figure out where I left off back in September. I'm picking up the slack in the grad student association, and remembering how to cook for myself (Hannah and Ilonka did a lot of the cooking when we actually had to). Getting caught up on doctor and dentist visits.

I started compiling lists of topics related to Europe...lists help me organize my thoughts. I make lists about everything, from what I need to get at the grocery store to what boys I like (that was in middle school!). So here's my lists about Europe.

WHAT I WILL MISS MOST ABOUT EUROPE:

1. Street food (maybe I have to find the right city?)
2. Walking everywhere and always having something to look at
3. Not knowing what the people on public transit are talking about
4. Getting lost in the alleys and twisty streets and feeling safe doing it
5. Attractive men everywhere (don't worry, I didn't keep a list)
6. Dogs in restaurants

WHAT I WON'T MISS ABOUT EUROPE:

1. The stupid design of their toilets (no, I was not using the bidet by accident)
2. Lack of access to Pandora and Hulu
3. Not knowing the language (but this isn't Europe's fault)
4. Having to air dry everything
5. Undercooked egg whites
6. Dogs that could not care less about me
7. Flip flops in the shower

Obviously these are not things that will keep me away from Europe for very long, and I'm already scheming to get back. There are things about the USA that make me want to go back right now, too.

WHAT I NOW THINK IS STUPID ABOUT THE USA:
1. Train travel options that cost an arm and three days
2. How poorly Americans dress (myself included)
3. Lack of education in a second/third/fourth/etc. language
4. Easy access to heavily processed, fast food--it's so tempting!
5. Few reasons to walk anywhere--Oh look, another 1960's cement box!

Sometimes I feel badly when I talk about going to Europe with people, because it feels like I'm bragging. But Ilonka says if someone asks me about it, it probably doesn't sound like bragging to them. I'm glad that my advisor understands how difficult it is to answer the question "how was your trip?". He has spent a lot of time abroad and knows that it's not an easy question to answer. I'm still trying to digest everything I did and all the things I learned. It's going to take a while!

Flight cancelled? Guess I'll stay!

It was almost nice getting back to Vienna after being away for two weeks. It felt like home and was familiar and comfortable. I knew exactly how to get from the airport to my hostel, and was happy to roam around the metro station picking up dinner and some groceries before heading there. I finally tried a box of noodles, which I'd been eyeing since September...they proved only moderately delicious and probably so because I was very hungry.

After lugging my two suitcases from storage up four flights of stairs, I set to work repacking. I think a bomb went off while I wasn't looking...the entire room was covered in two month's worth of clothes, shopping excursions, and electronics. I had to fit it all in one large checked bag, one small carry-on, and one "personal" item. Luckily I've been able to pass my hiking backpack off as a personal item, it usually fits under the seat! I managed to re-pack my bags after a couple hours of organizing and wrapping bottles of booze in layers of scarves, and hiding tiny jars of honey in shoes. I was only hoping the airline wouldn't charge me for the couple pounds over weight (and hoping they wouldn't check my carry-ons because then I would've been about 20 pounds over...). I would have argued that I weigh at least 20 pounds less than the average flyer and that should count towards my luggage allowance.

On Sunday I caught up on some much needed sleep and finished the last bit of packing in the morning. I wanted to see the famous Vienna Christmas Markets, so I was glad I'd made it back to town a day early. I walked down Mariahilfer Strasse to the Rathaus (town hall) where the most popular Christmas market is. There were also some smaller ones on my walk down Mariahilfer, so I was feeling excited about seeing the big one.

When I got there I was not disappointed at all. The place was lit up with Christmas decorations in the trees, and the little booths were stocked full of little trinkets and locally made treasures. At this point in the day I was mostly interested in grabbing some food, so I opted for something I've always wanted to try: soup in a bread bowl. The soup wasn't the best pumpkin soup I'd had in Europe, but it was fun to eat! It was worth it since the day was quite chilly, too. The only problem I had with the market was the amount of people--but anywhere in the US and it would've been fine, it simply prevented me from engaging with the sellers very much.

The Christmas Market with the Rathaus in the background.

My pumpkin soup in a bread bowl. A tasty lunch!

After wandering around the Christmas market, I decided to see what was happening elsewhere in the old town. I headed for the familiar spires of St. Stephen's Cathedral. On my way I tried to buy a glowing helicopter toy for my nephew, but the pregnant lady selling them wanted 5 Euros for one. I don't think she quite understood that I only wanted one, and wanted to pay 3 Euros, but I walked away empty handed--and surprisingly I didn't have another opportunity to buy one! 

Before getting to Stephensplatz, I decided it was my night to try the Original Sacher Torte (the only one legally allowed to be called "Original"). This is a famous chocolate cake made from a very old family recipe at the Sacher Hotel. I almost went into the Mozart Cafe by accident, since it's in the same building, but thought I better walk around and make sure I was in the right spot. The Sacher Cafe had a line out the door, so I almost decided to skip it, but in the end was glad I didn't. The fifteen-minute wait was definitely worth the treat. As usual I was a little timid to be alone, but no one batted an eye, and I noticed something about the people around me. There were mostly couples at the tables around me, and they were all on a devices of one sort or another, not enjoying each others' company. I would rather be alone with myself than alone with someone else I decided, and ate my cake with a smile on my face.

 

My Original Sacher Torte and cappuccino.

Cafe Sacher in the Sacher Hotel

After my Sacher Torte, I discovered that Stephensplatz is turned into a huge disco at night...just kidding, but they do put
on some strange lights that I don't really understand. I went inside the cathedral one last time and enjoyed listening to
part of the 5pm mass and accompanying organ music.

 After I finished wandering around and decided that I was cold enough to go back to the hostel, I hopped on the UBahn and was back in fifteen minutes. I was excited because I knew Ilonka would be there, and wanted to exchange travel stories. She had been to Romania, Greece, and Croatia and I knew she'd have some fun stories to tell. Don was also at the hostel, so we headed back to the Christmas Markets (they hadn't been there yet and I wanted to see it lit up at night). There were many fewer people now that it was dark out, so it was easier to check out the goods at different booths. We grabbed a couple brats for dinner and wandered around until just chilled and headed home.

Ilonka and I at the Christmas Market's photo ??? What's
the word I'm looking for???

The market was even more pretty at night with the lights in the trees and the town hall. Sorry
for the poor quality photo, I'd already packed my tripod!

 Once back in the hostel we did some last minute re-arranging of luggage and then hit the hay, our flight was to leave at 10:20am and we had to catch a ride to the airport at 7am. When we woke up in the morning, we discovered that our flight back home was cancelled because of bad weather in Chicago (our plane was stuck in Detroit). I wasn't too distraught, since I was more sad at leaving than excited to go home (even though two weeks before I had said "I wish I was just going home!"). A couple of our group managed to catch alternate flights back, but Don and I had a hotel and meals comp'ed and would leave the next day.

I stayed in the airport hotel, and had McDonald's for lunch for the first time while in Europe--sadly there weren't too many lunch options to "non-passengers". I think I probably could've used my boarding pass to get into the terminals but I was feeling lazy. I did a lot of reading and some blogging. I had dinner at the airport--a delicious open-faced lasagna with rocket (what we call arugula) and parmesan cheese. It was really tasty for airport food. I grabbed a chocolate croissant on my way out and then took a long bath, something I hadn't had an opportunity to do in Europe (hostels aren't so great for baths).

I think this extra day helped me prepare both mentally and physically for my trip back to the States. I needed the extra sleep before embarking on a ten hour plane ride, and blogging helped me let go of Europe a little bit.

The trip home was uneventful, I didn't sleep a wink until about 2am Nebraska time. Noelle and Kerry picked up Don and I at the airport and brought us pizza for dinner (it was 8pm local time). I wasn't quite ready to be back, so I was happy that my roommate had vacated the apartment for the evening (and most of the next day). I spent all night unpacking and doing loads of laundry, I wasn't even tired until the need for sleep hit me like a ton of bricks. I slept from 2am until about 8am and then woke up completely alert. It's now thirteen days since I returned and I'm getting back on my normal sleep schedule, but still yearning to be back in the excitement of Europe. It won't be long!